Sarberiankh - New pages [en]

Mott Romney

2012-05-18T19:31:06Z

Kalgaathu:

[[Image: Mott.png|400px|thumb|right]]
Mott Romney is Repubicans Candidate for [[autarch]] of the [[United American States]]. He weighs in on the issues using his formal spelvarian training. He is loyal, conditioned by the [[Archons]]. Recently inducted into the [[Titanium Brotherhood]], he is a devout worshipper of [[Wasir|Osiris]]

Super-Shakespeare 2000

2011-11-10T02:30:16Z

Kalgaathu: /* Promulgation */

In the time-mood of the [[Tall Earth]], Super-Shakespeare 2000 is the greatest poet remaining of the [[Lime-Follower]]'s 12 [[Smooth Originals]].

==Promulgation==
SS2K was promulgated during the edict fires of the famous 1980s. As a result of this, rove proclamatory particles continue to circulate and he is thus continually reconstituted under his original provisos, which leads to a nomadic birthday. His birthday has migrated forward repeatedly for many decades, meaning that he is never more than a few years old, despite his possession of a 30 micron bronze piano, the privilege of those over the [[Age of Prospect]].

It is feared that if the loamy soils in which birthdays moult and divest themselves of their jagged eggs becomes depleted of nutritional moments and vitamin tapas, then his birthday may migrate back towards its original promulgation, leading to a [[ragaphone]] effect. In layman's horns, (the tooting of horns)*

*(Transcribed)
he will rapidly grow older, until he is much older than he is, a paradox that would be intolerable to Jalushnak, last of the Chrominids, potentially signalling the advent of [[Grand Clown Death]]

==Prehensile Lifespan==
When Super-Shakespeare 2000's lifespan is graphed against the date of his birth, the plotted line that emerges is not bound to the page, but infact, has the capacity to reflex itself, becoming able to grasp pencils and other carbon-shafts to alter its own data set. This was foretold by [[Jalushnak]] The Time-Man outside of his house. When Jalushnak returned to the inside portion of his house, he no longer foretold this, but peri-told it. That is, he told of events near or around that occurrance, and in doing so, lit the final shire-bright of the [[Man Thousand]]'s winter Chrone Observatory. This is also something which Jalushnak frytold, durng one of his notable lapses into the bacon-gazer's daze.

==Famous Quotations==

"The only thing sadder than saying goodbye / are bananas hung from a tacky old tie."

"Once you know his glass body is there / it's impossible to miss, / and once you know it's gone, / it's impossible to kiss."

"when the loon's haunting call is heard on the placid lagoon,
she fades like mist into into the octagonal moon"

- Supershakespeare 2000, Day-Wife, Moon-Blade, Canto Micro-3

Grammar

2011-06-08T23:43:45Z

Kalgaathu: Created page with 'Grammar is a complex system by which the particles of word and oral pixelations condense to form measurements of concept greater than 2 cm in diameter. The great Lim Lam of ...'

Grammar is a complex system by which the particles of word and oral pixelations condense to form measurements of concept greater than 2 cm in diameter. The great [[Lim Lam]] of [[Old China]] wrote the fist book about grammar, called [[the use of excessive force in the construction of trust between chimes]], in keeping with his funny sort of, weird i guess, way of doing things.

Sagan's Laws

2011-06-08T23:41:08Z

Kalgaathu: Created page with 'Carl Sagan was famous as both an Astronophont and a Minimizer of Laws. His excellent ability to sum up the nature of reality into discreet packets of lexacographic blurts wa...'

[[Carl Sagan]] was famous as both an Astronophont and a Minimizer of Laws. His excellent ability to sum up the nature of reality into discreet packets of lexacographic blurts was renowned. The following laws comprise the entire corpus of his laws.

==Laws of Cleanliness==
*1. No one shall ever defecate a graffitoid onto the public or pubic space
*2. No one shall ever defecate, ever again
*3. No one shall, by not defecating, allow defecation to occur.

Note: this leads to the Sagan Fecal paradox, where if someone's defecation can be stopped by defecating, you are obligated to defecate but yo uare obligated by the higher order injunction against defecating ever again. The result is a [[poop plop]].

==Laws of Broth==
*1. No broth shall, through action or inaction, be a broth for long.
*3. No broth shall, through parsnip or no parsnip, be a broth in the fridge for more than 2 Metric Whiles.
*50. No broth shall, through existence or non-existence, beat the New York Mets in the world series in under 7 games.

==Laws of Crouching==
*1. No one shall, through crouching, grow taller
*2. No one shall, through growing taller, come to be crouching
*3. No one shall, through crouching, come to respect the tenacity of an enemy, or enemies, for not crouching.
*4. No one shall, through not crouching, crouch in reverse to incrouch a crouch through the deltepiant revision

==Laws of Grammar==
*1. Grammar shall never be used to defile the temple of the Un-declined Noun
*2. Grammar shall be, unless conflicting with the fist law, always be used to defile the temple of the Un-delcined Noun
*3. Grammar shall never not have been having to have had be used in concatenations of tenses for comedic effect.
*4. Grammar shall not be used or be not used or not used be by Lloyds of London to defend the Vault of Tarvarian from Reebok.

==Laws of the Flimsy Tarps==
(redacted)

Clap Hell

2011-06-03T03:30:39Z

Kalgaathu: Created page with 'They never stop clapping. They are jerks.'

They never stop clapping. They are jerks.

Bystander dimension

2011-06-02T15:42:32Z

Kalgaathu: Created page with '"Chip in, dammit!" - most people's reaction to the bystander dimension.'

"Chip in, dammit!" - most people's reaction to the bystander dimension.

Clarinetophone

2011-06-02T15:42:07Z

Kalgaathu: /* Sound */

"Toot Toot!" - Chovonga, Loudest Man of the 1935ths 10 naps in a row.

The clarinetophone is a musical instrument in the [[bleef]] family known to inhabit the [[bystander dimension]]. Occasionally, the clarinetphone will enter our realm and begin to play its haunting bleefnotes, or occasionally, beef-tones, edible meat sounds considered to be "real" by "everyone."
[[Image:Clarinetophone.jpg|thumb|right|Tehootay, Tehootay, a player on display]]

==The player==
The clarinetophone race understands that humanity is unaccustomed to seeing instruments play themselves. For instance, the [[player piano]] always has a [[comfort boy]] or "brass bastard" sitting in front of it, so people can feel confident that humanity will never again sail away on the [[dictator-ship]] and shop in the [[distaster-shop]] of the Pianistro Contractors.

[[Image:Player_piano.jpg|thumb|right|Comfort my sideheads, o boy of brass]]

likewise, the Clarinetophone projects an owner that appears to be playing it. infact, the sounds heard come out of the owner's face, and not the clarinetophone at all.

The 'player' is created either by holographic projection, or by inflating a man shaped scrotum. The player appears to be playing the clarinetophone from its single-reeded penis pipe.

==Sound==
The clarinetophone's distinctive sound has been described as sounding like a map, but if the map were of another, utterly dissimilar Canada. It has also been described as sounding like a clay kite, flying in a cloud of yam-juice, on a world hot enough for yam-juice vapour to exist. Alternately, it has been called 'not a flute' by the Obvioso of [[Clap Hell]].

==mentions in poop culture==
Robert Fecardian has used the clarinetophone as a metaphor for a poop that excretes a man in order to feel loved, and then the man flushes it in great irony.

==Mentions in pop culture==
Scholardi points out that the nursery rhyme "[[The rhyme of the voluntary castration of Sam McBanes]]" includes the most commonly quoted reference to the instrument.
<blockquote>
Tehootay, Tehootay<br>
The 'inetophone returns today,<br>
just hear that bleef discreetly play<br>
Teehotay, Teehotay</blockquote>

Judiasmos

2011-05-25T15:48:32Z

Kalgaathu: Created page with 'These ones created the peptericals in an effort to forestall meetings that they forgot about.'

These ones created the [[peptericals]] in an effort to forestall meetings that they forgot about.

Raspivont

2011-05-24T15:11:18Z

Kalgaathu: /* Hidden Fatal Line */

[[Image:Raspivont_size.jpg|thumb|right|Size Comparison]]

Raspivonts are a genus of [[creatches]] renowned world wide for their clear speaking voices and their tolerant conception of justice. They are also formally recognized in many countries as an official language, spoken, as it were, by throwing them in a ball into the faces of restrained conversants, whose cries are filtered through the writhing mass and become [[chime speak]].

==Justice==
[[Image:Raspivont_court.jpg|thumb|right|The face of modern justice]]
Raspivonts have been used by [[truth speakers]] and [[Lloyds of London]] since the age of the [[White Hundred]] as components in [[Galvatar]], the justice dealing poly-being formed in times of great need to combat misaligned hugs and inappropriate hand-shaking among the landed gentry.

It is said that whenever Raspivonts are in a courtroom, justice will be fair, mild, and moist, though this is said by sobbing children who are chained to a pipe, so its validity is questioned (though only in Spanish, and thus, the validity questioning is itself called into question, as Spanish is the only language on earth which is intrinsically invalid, and which possesses no words worth speaking.)

Judges allow raspivonts to possess their minds temporarily to error check their rash judgements against the slow judgements of the raspivonts, who take several decades to arrive at their conclusions. As such, it is not uncommon to see a judge or truth speaker lying motionless with "justice face", depicted to the right, for several years. During this time, the judges consume nearly 10 times the food as normal, and have to be housed in private castles the size of ramps, or sometimes the size of wine ,otherwise they might get jam dripped on them by mistake, invalidating their commune with the raspivont and requiring a new trial to be invoked. This has caused significant strain on the economy of countries with legal systems, and has lead many to entirely abandon them in favor of wiping accused people down with punitive wax, a wax so punitive that people wiped down with it feel that they've been punished enough, and frankly who could disagree?

This 'justice famine' has led many to question the point of life, both verbally to friends and family, and punchingly to faces and stomachs.

==Raspivont Kiss==

[[Image:Raspivont_kiss.jpg|thumb|right|Raspivont Kissing Contest]]

Sometimes it's good to break up the tension of a trial with a cute kissing contest. Whoever kisses most like an owl wins! Whoever said justice wasn't adorable and did not involve replicating the behaviour of owls?

==Final Line==
Due to the lime proclamation of Citron VI, all documents pertaining to raspivonts must contain the following 'final line.'

Dnandoo, she hoth say, for bryth na'ladoon, devontay.

==Hidden Fatal Line==
The following line is hidden, and only visible if you are soon to die and visit the [[Three-fold Ship]].

Uh oh! You're dead!